The Legal Guide to Getting Married

Once upon a time, there weren’t many options for last names in marriage — men kept their surname, women changed theirs. Now you can take your spouse’s name, keep your own name, hyphenate your name with theirs, or create an entirely new name — whatever you want. Only two major rules apply: Your marriage certificate must reflect your new last name, along with all your legal identification documents.

Sometimes it takes people a year or longer after marriage to finish the process of changing their name. However,  if you are taking your spouse’s surname or hyphenating your name with theirs, that is one of the simpler ways to change your name. Start with a driver’s license; you’ll need your marriage certificate to get that updated and then both documents are needed to:

• Notify your bank about your legal name change and ask for new checks, credit and debit cards. Make sure the post office knows about your name change and change of address if you have moved.
• Let your employers know to avoid running into issues with your paychecks.
• Alert your electric, phone and other utility companies.
• Tell your insurance, mortgage and credit card companies and notify your landlord.
• Tell the voter registration office, the passport office, your school and alumni associations, and your investment account providers.
• If you are a frequent flier, your airline needs to know so they can transfer your miles.

If you use a last name that is not your spouse’s nor your original surname – such as creating an entirely new name – you will need to provide more information than just a marriage license. Some states require that you make a legal petition to change your name. You may also need an order to show why you are changing your name and a decree to complete the process. A court will review them and (hopefully) grant you the legal name change.

Keep in mind that you can do almost anything you want to your last name. However, there are a few exceptions. For obvious reasons, you can’t change your name to avoid debt, commit crimes, or evade criminal charges. But there are a few more obstacles to changing your name:

• No numerals or punctuation marks.
• You can’t pick a name that is already trademarked or a celebrity name.
• Surnames shouldn’t include any obscene symbols, words or phrases.

If you have a child from a previous relationship, their surname doesn’t have to change, even if you are changing your own after marriage. And if your new spouse legally adopts your child, you can treat their last name just like yours: change it, hyphenate it, or keep it as-is. You can apply for a new birth certificate that lists your new spouse as the child’s parent and reflects the child’s new last name.

If the child’s other parent is living, you must notify that parent of a name change. That parent must provide signed consent unless their parental rights have been terminated. Sometimes the other parent fights the name change or can’t be located, other factors may include the child’s age, what the child wants, and the reason for the name change. Changing a child’s name is not the same as an adoption. You should seek advice from a lawyer. 

If you have a child and are getting remarried, it can be more complicated than a simple name change. While it’s always important to keep the child’s best interest in mind, a second marriage may unavoidably result in arguments over child custody, visitation and support rights. Sharing joint custody may be the preferred option for the child, but that isn’t always possible. When addressing issues related to custody, seek advice from a lawyer to better understand your parental rights.

Child custody rules are complicated and can vary from state to state, but a few major ones usually apply across the board:

• Typically, both parents have the right to receive all materials that concern the wellbeing and treatment of their child.
• Each parent gets access to their child’s school conferences, activities and progress, religious events, medical treatment, and other life events.
• Each parent is allowed to contact their child via mail or phone.

It’s imperative that the child’s best interests, wishes, and desires should be considered above the parents’ self-interests. It may not sound pleasant, but it’s best to converse with your future spouse and your child’s parent to decide what’s best for the child. Hopefully, your calm and practical discussions will result in courses of action that keep your child’s life and education disrupted as little as possible. Based on several different factors, courts will also make the final legal decisions about parental custody, visitation rights, and even ex parte custody orders.

There are other circumstances beyond marriage which may result in child custody changes. The courts will probably need to be involved in these cases, and the laws can vary from state to state. Normally a party must show that a substantial and material change in circumstances, that affects the child’s well-being, has resulted in the need for a child custody change. Situations that could indicate necessary changes in custody include:

• Parental health/mental health
• Parental ability or inability to care for their child’s basic needs
• Parental capacity to love and guide the child through life
• Parental willingness to facilitate contact between the child and the child’s other parent
• Parental commitment to raising the child in a meaningful childhood and into a responsible adulthood
• Unstable living conditions
• The child’s own preference
• Potential separation of the child from any other siblings
• Agreement of the parties

When starting a family, you begin to prepare for how you will care for them throughout life’s trials and tribulations. Though it can be unpleasant to consider for the worst-case scenarios, creating a Will is one way to provide a long-term plan for your loved ones. A Last Will and Testament helps you control who inherits your belongings, who administers your estate, who is a guardian for your children and more.

Living Will vs Last Will & Testament

• A Living Will states your wishes about end-of-life care. This includes decisions about life-sustaining treatment, artificially administered food and water, and other important factors. In some cases, folks also appoint a health care agent.
•  A Last Will & Testament provides your written instructions about what should happen to your property, estate and other assets after your death.

A Last Will & Testament is the legal document that lets you, or your executor, decide who gets your stuff after your death. You get to determine the person who will be responsible for the administration of your estate and the disposition of your property. Some basic elements of the Last Will & Testament are worth explaining: 

Probate process: This is the court-supervised process of authenticating your Last Will & Testament. During probate, your appointed executor will oversee the final distribution of your estate while approving or denying creditor claims.

Testator/Testatrix: This is the individual who makes the Will, in other words, you.   

Bequest section: This section of the Will details who will receive what of your property. A specific bequest is a gift, asset, or item that will be given to a specific receiving party. For example: You want your granddaughter to inherit your diamond engagement ring or a certain amount of money, so you specify that in the bequest section.

Executor/Executrix/Personal Representation: This person petitions the court to open the probate of the estate. This executor may take stock of all the estate assets, after which creditors will make claims against the estate.

Devisees and Legatees: These are the individuals or organizations that you named in your Will to receive assets upon your death.

Updating Your Will

You’ll want to think about updating your will with any changes in the law, or if you’ve had any big changes in your personal circumstances or finances. If you’ve made a promising investment or expect big success in your business, that’s a good time to change your Will.

You can make small changes to your Will by creating codicils, or secondary documents attached to your original Will. However, a more substantive change might require you to create a new Will in place of the old one.

• Changes in the law
• Financial setbacks
• Expected good fortune
• Change in committed relationships
• Becoming a parent or grandparent
• Losing a spouse
• Poor health